Peanut Butter and turkey sandwich...this may come back to haunt me
just left the emergency room. condom extraction.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
I mean he did ask and he said it's cold out but i didn't realize we were that comfortable hahaha sex is one thing but borrowing a sweatshirt?
Locking that text forever.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
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