Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Of course I lose my iPhone but still manage to hold on to the ruler for my dirty teacher costume
Im pretty sure at one point a very high you yelled, with actual tears in your eyes, "im not wrestling with you anymore, you dont respect my safe word!!"
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
Vodka?
Forever.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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