In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I'm scared at the amount of beastiality in this conversation.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
We had to push you home in an abandoned shopping trolley. You thought you were in a pirate boat and kept yelling "AVAST, ME HEARTIES".
Last night was a sign that I need to stop sleeping with any girl that can quote the mighty ducks
Specially the ones that look like Goldberg
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Randomize
