There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
this will be a night to untag.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I just want to have such an intense orgasm that my heart stops and I die. I mean that would kind of suck for the guy I'm fucking but then again he could be like "I'm that good"
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
I found your missing hash cookies. Fuck you and I'm sorry but there are only 2 left. I already had the munchies.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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