I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
im trying to catch a child molester. call you later.
How do I invite him to our 4th of July cookout without sounding too much like "hey you were my first orgasm and I want your dick inside my while watching fireworks"
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I was so high I told him we should rub faces and pretend to be wombats. He was surprisingly enthusiastic about it.
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i spent my Thursday drinking before noon and not wearing pants
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
Randomize
