dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
He wants another date...I mean he's cute, but I just am not ready to give up my glamorous single-girl lifestyle here.
you mean the one where you drink out of the carton and don't wear pants?
Yeah, and pee with the door open. It's the little things.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
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