So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
Just found a note from Saturday that says "rainy soft hair".... Any ideas?
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
