He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
Randomize
