It's like Facebook knows when I'm about to masturbate and tells me to reconnect with exes.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
It's also dangerous to ride a bike down the stairs after a few beers, but I've done it.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
130 PACKAGES of glow sticks! The going rate of a rave is $38.30! GET READY FOR THE GLORGY!!!!!!!!!!!!
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
Is it a good time to tell him he's getting too clingy if he sent me a picture of my name spelled with Cheerios?
Wearing rip off pants to a booty call last night was one of my most brilliant ideas ever.
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
the raccoons are back...
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