dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
It's not meant to be. I also just shot a turkey baster of gin into Nate's eye, so....
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Well I met my booty call's parents by accident, so that happened.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
Randomize
