I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Not going outside. I may melt into a puddle of wine
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Are you in a good mood because I stuffed you with enchiladas, ice cream, penis, and cuddles last night?
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize
