There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Omfg I am plowed. Had drinks with 3 milfs. Going out on their boat tomorrow. They want to show me how buoyant they are.
I got my nipple pierced! I love it so much!
Well, there goes breastfeeding.
I just wanted to let you know I just licked gravy off of my boobs. Just putting that out there.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
I don't know how I feel about the stuff we got from that guy. Me and Monty are driving through town listening to static at full blast...
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
We lost. I'mma go home and drink more and do a face mask and wonder why it is that god put me on this Earth to suffer
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Randomize
