Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
So I wore a corset to school. Fuck laundry.
Her roommate was talking on her cell when I came out of the bedroom and I definitely heard her describe how shitty and terrified I looked. Awesome.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
it went well until I said "me" instead of "my" and he kept sexting me in character as a pirate
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
