just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Okay. I really need to get out of this guys bed and get home. It's two in the afternoon. He's not even HERE.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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