I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
if i'm ever as drunk as the girl in front of me... kill me.
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Yes, you can glue plastic eyes to my dick and take pictures while I'm asleep. If you tell anyone I said you could do that Ima fight you.
Randomize