obama could have borrowed sotomayor's dick when he threw out that that first pitch like a girl last night
My balls are so social today.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
he opened the microwave and beer cans poured out
Fyi when u order four mini bottles of scotch on a 45 min flight. The flight attendants jaw drops to the floor.
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
Randomize
