He famously once noted that women should wear white "like all other domestic appliances,"
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
For the amount of money I just spent on my dogs toe, I could have fucked the entire B squad at a low end strip club.
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
Fuck yeah GAYNESS
*explodes into glitter*
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
Randomize
