dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
the mole on his forehead could get me off better than his dick
please tell me you have proof of this
Woman walking into toby keith concert: 8 months pregnant, black eye, shirt on that has a picture of a boot and the words "we'll put a boot up your ass" with an american flag printed over--the sleeves were ripped off and she had a camo cowboy hat. Greatest thing I've ever seen.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
Thanks for alerting everyone in our apartment what your one night stand's name is. Could you scream a little louder?
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
