It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
maybe we dont have boyfriends because we dont have tans
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
I woke up covered in blue paint and my knee bleeding, when I went to return the shopping cart the guy in the elevator laughed hysterically. I'm having a good morning.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
He's got a beautiful penis, I can't lie
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
