we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I just realized there's an entire generation of children that will never know Alex Trebek had a mustache... Sad.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
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