If he can handle my muffin top then I can handle his front teeth.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
it's like god just wants me to be high for five days in a row. keep the blizzards coming.
I just got my inseam measured in raffle tickets by a drag queen. Being fondled for charity is awesome.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
We all have to be good at something. Mine are writing, drinking, fucking and peer pressure.
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
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