He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
