How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
I just saw the pics of me from the costume party as Party Boy. I've effectively cock-blocked myself forever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Nothing like having your house arrest ankle bracelet vibrate and take a moisture sample at the exact moment you're about to blow it in some chick...buzzkill
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
He woke me up holding a gallon of apple juice and a shot glass...
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Randomize
