oh jesus shes a lukewarm mess
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
she went home with me because she said i reminded her of paul rudd. remind me to thank him for his awkwardness
this mix will be the most desperate cry for affection in the history of itunes.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
I don't know whether to call the hospital or call the prison first.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
Randomize
