So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
I'm still hoping for it dude. Random north dakota pussy. If my 16 year old self knew that these were my dreams he would so try to beat me up, and i think he could.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I just had a horrible epiphany. I have fucked girls younger than Star Tours
This text was so worth waking up to
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
Randomize
