dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
And by "got a tattoo" i mean i got a tattoo in the dorm bathrooms with a guy using his cousin's tattoo gun.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Randomize
