woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
That’s talent right there. Maverick and Goose type shit.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
Randomize
