there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
I wish life had little blips of pornography
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I stayed at the bar and helped clean up cause I was told I'd get free shots. Didn't happen.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
I watch one musical on Netflix, and the "Suggested for you" section is literally almost the entire gay movie category. I feel profiled, and netflixs' accuracy about my sexuality is both impressive and offensive.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
The dick lei will go down in squad history
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
Randomize
