Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
at the gym hungover with vodka in a water bottle. don't say i'm not fulfilling my resolutions
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
I got propositioned while wearing the bottom half of a horse costume. It's like god is apologizing to me in the strangest of ways.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
I literally just want someone to fuck me and buy me cheeseburgers. I don't even want a relationship at this point. Just a chew toy and some food.
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
