He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
In the memo line of the check she wrote sexual healing.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
I feel like delivery guys should know that when you order lunch for one and answer the door wearing sweatpants, there's no need to say "Happy Valentine's Day."
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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