She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He tried to make eye contact, he should know by now that freaks me out
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I don't think I can look at him the same way anymore after he walked in my room wearing a short skirt with a boner.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Randomize
