finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I wish I had a waterproof laptop so that I would watch porn in the shower.
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
There was booze on his face and I wanted it. I'm not sorry.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize
