Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You told me you were going to invite all of your Tinder matches to the same bar on the same night and make them compete for your affection in a series of Lust Olympics. Winner gets laid.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
