I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
The look your mother gives you when she sees you masterbating on web cam is unlike any I've seen before, but this is a case where, I would say, ignorance is bliss.
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
The police woke me up so they had no choice but to see my morning wood.
Her dad high fived me on the way out the door. Not the reaction i expected after she came so loud.
I just had sex with the megalodon show on in the background and it was just as magical as it sounds
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
He corrected my spelling during sexting.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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