Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
the mandatory saturday morning class for those written up by RA's turned into a gold mine...just met EVERY hot chick that parties.
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
Yeah everyone's alive and well besides the still terrifying threat of Ted's conception of a human being
I woke up this morning cradling my vibrator like it was a baby
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Got pulled over today for going 90 in a 40 zone with my leg out of the window. Still got out of the ticket. I'm getting way too good at this. Wanna trade bodies so we can see if it's my boobs or my charm?
I peed on his bed and he still likes me. #keeper
We should write a country song: “Blacked Out on a Sunday”
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