i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
Literally like 10 people walking in my building talking about how much they hate draco
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Please tell me I didn't try to make out with a 70 year old Romanian man last night ...
All I've done today is make sangria and wonder what the hell I'm doing with my life.
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
Randomize
