and trust me i need no booty pop lessons
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
No gifts needed, but if you have fireworks or weed that'd be good.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
After last night, I think I need a service animal to monitor the life choices I make when I'm inebriated. A monkey, or a clever dog. Or a really assertive parrot.
That moment when you can't decide if you should vote for the random frat guy you have head to at the beginning of the semester for business and technology senator.
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
He just turned down phone sex for hockey and I'm so relieved I'm fucking a straight guy that I'm barely even mad
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