See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I knew it was gonna be weird when she opened the condom with scissors
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Everyone was soo nice and genuine.. Then again it coulda just been the drugs.
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
