She announced her abortion via fbk
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Nothing better than going to Mass on Easter Sunday with "I love penis" henna tattooed across your back. Love your Indian culture.
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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