Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
The tequila covers up the fact that the choco liquor tastes like sadness.
if you arent using your penis to save lives, then what good is it?
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
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