There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
he probably thinks i inited him over to have sex but really i just want to show him 90's music videos
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
i just remembered i drunk watched the brave little toaster last night
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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