I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
We met a guy named Raymond. You called him ramen all might and told him you would eat him up, "like sex, on a budget."
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
