Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
Apparently, the Mormons have taken over airports. I was told by a befuddled looking clerk I couldn't buy a beer with breakfast before 6am.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
I don't think "growing medical marijuana" is Quite what my Grandfather had in mind when he thought me about gardening as a child
It's okay that we broke up and all but it's not okay that he still has my Chick-fil-A calendar card. This month is free fries!
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
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