TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
When the cop tells you to leave the pool, does that mean you have to put your bathing suit back on too?
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
Randomize
