Dude why does my asshole itch so bad?
I'll teach you how to wipe better
I saw his dick soo much last night when I saw him this morning all I saw was penis where his face should be
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Dorm room. In. Elevator. Fell in. Boom. Puke
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
I think I accidentally agreed to be someone's surrogate
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Randomize
