my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
the most romantic thing he could do for me right now would be to throw himself into traffic
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
The sun and I are not on speaking terms this morning
woke up this morning and she was gone. but she left a box of donuts on the counter with a note saying "for all the 'o's you gave me last night"
Text me some of your sweat
not only did he puke in his mouth and hold it.. He also sneezed while doing this
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
Randomize
