How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
My grandma just told me that she sharted, no I am not having fun in El Paso.
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
They thought we spoke German and French even though we just kept repeating "I give to you a cat" and "Are you drunk?"
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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