they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
You threw a bunch of trashcans into the middle of the street and nothing happened. I fell on one car and suddenly there were cops everywhere...
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
You left your Xanax bottle in my car. Why is the label all smudged?
I spilled wine on it.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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