when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
It smells like Drakkar Noir and desperation out here.
That's why you should quit smoking.
I just spent my lunch hour driving around campus yelling "TRADE LIVES WITH ME!" to all the freshmen moving in
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
The waitress just told me I'm asking alot. So far I've asked for a soul, an angel and carbombs
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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