i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
For not really liking Christmas, I have an astounding amount of holiday-themed lingerie
Damn victory sex feels great
We really gotta wear capes to the bar more often...
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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